Friday, October 28, 2011

心情 27.10.2011

其实以前我很不喜欢看戏,我总觉得看戏很浪费时间,尤其是连续剧,我很久, 很久没有追煲连续剧了,大概有。。三年多吧。
其实非常坦白那时候的我很爱玩,每天往外跑,感觉就是不能呆在家,时常中骂。
哈哈,现在我能了。或许我真的老了!!-。-
也或许,跟的人不同了,生活习惯完全改了,唯一不变的还是夜睡啦,哈哈哈!
之前我完全连面子书的那些video post,link 我全都没兴趣,我只是对爱情故事,埋怨,负面思想的文章之类的东西非常感兴趣,呵呵呵。
我很emo的,我可以说是,天天都emo。
每天很不开心,每天在想负面的事。

自从我从那圈子走了出来,我发现,其实世界真的很大。
这个世界,爱情有时真的不是一切,我还有友情, 亲情,亲情是我最常忽略的一件事。
现在想起,也是有点难过的,浪费了那么多时间跟家人好好相处。但也非常可惜,我完完全全遗传了我妈咪的坏脾气,一模一样,对,我收敛了,但对亲人还是一样情绪不好。
其实每一次我发过脾气之后我也很难过的,但我总是放不下面子。
他们很疼我, 真的真的很疼的,但我总是忽略。
我不会表达,我也很难以行动表示,但其实我真的知道你们的好,我总是用那种忤逆的态度,对不起了。
我承认的,为了爱情,友情我的底线一直无条件降低,但对你们一点小事就发脾气,真的很抱歉。

我总是很负面,别人的意见我都听得进,唯有你们。怎样劝我也不会听进耳。
撞板了,知痛了才后悔。
你们也一直无条件的包容我。
我真的看到,我也知道。
我希望我能把坏脾气改掉,好好对你们。
上次跟妈咪吵架,很严重,好几个星期也不说话。再之前,我更过分,我做了很多很伤人的事,我还是会想回的,我不明白我当时怎么可以那样对待她,但我还是做了。妈咪也忍让了。
每每回到那个地方,我都很难过很难过,如果可以重来我希望自己当时清醒点,不要那么伤人后来再后悔。

其实我很难过,我知道妈咪也是。
但由始至终我好像欠妈咪一句对不起。

每一次无论什么戏,只要是看到父母根孩子关系很好,我很羡慕;
但是就算是跟父母关系不好,孩子怎么坏,父母依然会原谅孩子。
和好如初的那一幕,每一次我的泪都差点就留了下来。
总觉得好像我自己。
这次提到港剧,因为港剧多数上演的都是这些情节,都是在呼吁现代年轻人好好珍惜长辈别等到失去才来后悔。
其实从港剧里我看到很多。人性,人心,心计,心机,双面人,双重性格,好人,坏人,都不是从样子可以看到的。
亲情,友情,爱情,确实是这样排列的。

爱情虽然不是一切,但没有爱情我们依然需要它,我们仍然会去找寻另一个适合自己的,属于自己的终身伴侣。

我学历不高,是有点后悔自己没听劝告没念完书就出来工作,头脑也不是精明过人而又时常很执着,甚至容易受人影响,完全没主见。
但我真的觉得很庆幸,至少在我活了这二十年来,遇到的人,对象,都不算太坏。
阿妹的歌唱的很对,真的要感谢伤害我的人。
要不是他们,让我看清这个社会是何等的现实,
要不是他们,我也不会了解这社会的黑暗,
都是要考头脑,要靠自己的能力去得到自己想要的东西。
钱真的不是万能,但没钱是万万不能。
我不是在什么富裕的家庭长大,但至少我无忧无虑。
食衣住行,样样没问题。
虽然二十岁了依然还没得到自己想要的东西,甚至到了现在我才找到自己的目标,才正在朝自己的目标前进,我知道,并不迟的,我很年轻。
感觉很乱,次序全都乱了,哈哈,从港剧变亲情,然后突然爱情又事业,呵呵。
不好意思,我就是想到什么写什么的。反正我也不是什么作者,这只是我想分享心声的部落,不必太执着吧。

我很想很想成为女强人,让自己家人好过些,过得好一些。
我也很想很想,成为一位,进得了厨房,出得了厅房的好老婆。
谁不想自己是一个好儿子,好女儿,长大后是一个好老公,好老婆。
以后是一个,好爸爸,好妈妈。
我什么都要。
很贪心。
但我也知道,不可能。
事业与爱情兼顾,最近我时常看到的字眼。
之前,我发现我也很难办到。
但是,我觉得,现在终于我都可以轻松地做自己,寻找自信,好好地达成自己的目标。
因为他给了我很多支持,信心,信任。
虽然他也不是很善于表达自己,但或许有时从他的行动中我可以感受得到他的心,他的想法。
我很喜欢有自己想法,有计划,甚至说是思想成熟的男人吧,我找到了。
虽然有时很固执,并不是事事听我说的,但至少在他心里我是有位置的,我真的很满足了。
以前我很死牛一边颈,我只会不停埋怨没有安全感。
现在我已经非常了解,安全感是需要信任的
从小到大我都很没安全感,缺乏自信,没大志,胆怯。
所以我变得非常敏感,很爱乱想,一点点事情也足以让我烦恼整天,一天没得到答案我一天也不安心。
我过得很不开心。
可是,他帮我分析,让我明白很多。
有时候是自己太过于偏激的想法了。
而且常人都会犯的错就是只站在一个角度看事情,只在自己的立场想东西。
现在的我总算有些开窍了。
呵呵,但愿如此!;O

今天突然很感慨,写了好长好多。
只想让自己好过一点,我也很习惯把说不出口的话,写出来。

1)妈咪,想跟你道歉,对于上次的事,我知道伤了你很深,我保证会改,而且下不为例。
对不起,好吗?
2)我很珍惜我遇见的每一个人,而我知道以前自己很任性很固执,总是不觉得自己错了,错了以后才来认错,有时真的很迟了。我不开心,后悔,但于事无补。我很冲动,向各位我曾经伤害的朋友,道歉。
我是,真心,认错。我明白自己爱用文字伤人,真的,很抱歉。
3)我相信我的选择是对的,跟你一起,真的很平凡,但我真的体会到平凡的那种幸福。
但希望不单是我在迁就,接受,你也要一起的咯!!! :PPP

刚才看到一句对白,‘你还年轻,你不需要背负太多,趁早的怨恨放下,因为你还有大把前途,如果一直放不下,冤冤相报何时了?’
总有一方需要放下。

听完这番话,我觉得很感慨。
so only I type so many , LOL. so blur right. heheheh . leave it bah.Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Deepavali ;)

Today is 26.10.2011 and is Public Holiday , my officially off day , and Deepavali , consider a festival for Indian :)
So today is my off day , and I just got back home finished all my stuff now mask-ing and time to blogging LOL :P
I get up very late today cause last night I sleep very late ;/ is almost 4.30am cause we over late back home from cc ( as usual I always went there for spending my time for movie and baby playing his game )
I wake on 3.15pm :O then go bath and dress up and prepared everything for waiting baby , and normally I used to wake early than him 1 hour because I very slow AHAHAH for preparing my stuff :P
And when I done everything is seriously 1 hour ago! Then the time baby is ready to get up from his lovely bed laaa :D
Wait baby set up his hair and done his stuff is already 5 pm like that so that I decided we go for his shop for clear his works first only went for BRUNCH .
But then who knows , wait after he finished his works its almost 7pm like that ( I forget about the time but is about 6 something to 7 like that )
Then only back from his shop and grab some foods :O
I hungry till faint that time :( and eyes not feeling well if I very late sleep the day before :/
After that I decide to go AEON on Bukit Tinggi for Bunch + dinner , as I wanna buy something at there too.
Firstly baby suggest we go for BBQ PLAZA , I agreed cause that's one of my favourite food ! :D
But when we reached there and a lots of people que-ing.
Then we go for others......
At last we choose VIVO.
Then we have our dinner there luu ;)
The pasta is quite nice there :)


After the dinner then we go for the shop that I want buy things over there , then we back home :)
I go there for a fragrance oil  :)
And a pack of dry flowers , is smell good ! ;)
I hope these stuff can relax my mind and help me on sleep , for get a good sleep after this :)
Here are they .
* I found back the porcelain for the oil a weeks ago when I cleaning my room , so that today I go buy the fragrance oil for it ;) *
* this is the dry flowers that Joyce jiejie strongly recommended me last time :) Blueberry smell *


I really hope this two little thingy can help me for sleep , have a good sleep in a relaxing environment loo ;)

I say want to force myself to drink milk for everyday . So here is it. And the expired date of this milk is same of the day my IDOL 's Jay Chou 's new album publication :D
HAHAHA :P

Its 2.43 am !! gosh ! GOODNIGHT peoples! ;)

Monday, October 24, 2011

I love TWILIGHT so much ;)


From the first I watched Twilight - Newmoon _ SAGA I already fall in love to it ;)
Edward is soooo handsome ! And Bella is pretty too !
I love their love story I know its IMPOSSIBLE happened in reality but just really feel so touched ;)
I like love story. :)))))
Perfectly match <3
;)

Wed (part two)

I forget to continue my post after the date on WED!
hahaha !
That day we reached IKEA is almost 5.30pm , after we ate at A&W , then we went to see those furniture.
But who know! IKEA closed for business so that early o ?
haihs!
We purposely  drove to there just like go for the meal !!
We didn't shop after that , straight go back to Klang loo.
Is so damn jam on the road.
We went for MBO for REAL STEEL! A damn nice movie that everyone strongly recommended!
Really really nice weh!
But I do forget little about what the movie showing :P
Just remember there is a kid name MAX , his daddy name Charlie.
Both them love robot so much.
And bought robot for fight for earn little.
But the point there are robot lover laa ;)
Kinda touched , for who haven't watch please go watch it , its damn worth!
REAL STEEL , REAL NICE! ;)))))

Then back to my life .
I am sick laa ;(
I have toothache!!
Very very pain T.T
I have to go back for dentist next monday again..... TT
But I hope everything will back to normal after plug (牙根)
I feel scare la.
Sure very pain. Haihs.
But at least I wont pain everyday every moment until cannot sleep in the middle of the night again ;(
I very down and weak for this month , all sick all bad luck come to me .
I didn't have a day can sleep well.......
I hope everything go back normal after dentist next week .PLEASE PLEASE.
I want my healthy life and I promise I will take good care of my own start now.:(
Is so regret cause I didn't control myself , my lifestyle.
I just so damn regret when I am really sick T.T
I think is time for medicine and take a nap again.
MC for today . :(
Weather for this day not really good also , keep on raining raining and raining la ;(((((
Take good care of your own kkay ! 
I need to stay strong and tough !
I WANT HEALTHY LIFE !! :)

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Wed again ^^

Its wed again yooo~ and now is 4something already, waiting for baby finish key in cash sales then we gonna headed to IKEA for furniture!! ^^ for his new house with papa and mama in the coming months :) but we just take a look for his room furniture laaaa ;P so im kinda excited and and prepare lengleng for dis date agn ;P baby wear so normal but nvm :D is hungry now .. wat to eat? :///// continue after the dating <3 ;)
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Friday, October 14, 2011

Dating with the baby :)

12.10.2011
Is like quite a time I didn't shopping with baby , walk walk eat eat chit chat all the way with baby already.
Finally , he promised me to bring me to SHOGUN , @ OneUtama , for the Japanese Buffet . ( The first time I went for those buffet. haha , stupid right. )
I plan that we have to awake on 11 or 12 something and prepare then go for our date , but , he over slept , almost 2pm like that only we ready out for our date -.-
I feel angry when waiting him wake de loo , he don't know only.
When he wake and saw I playing phone alone there with the 'face' ( act like nothing face xD )
he know I sure little bit pikcek liao de, then he told me that he headache loo......................
Well , headache I also cannot mad on him d lor , so ..........




here is some SS pics when on the way to OneU la. :D
I know I look chubby nowadays , due to too stress so eat damn a lot until this fat (face also fat :( )

We reach is almost 3.30 pm  , so SHOGUN is not open for business yet , so ..
Baby decide we go have something to fill our stomach at least not too hungry while wait on time . SHOGUN was start business when 6pm loo -.-
Then we headed for Starbucks OneU.
*baby don't really like Starbuck one , but when I decide Coffee Bean he say there is no outdoor pula...*

He feel to slapped me when I taking this pics. HAHAHHAHAHHHA cause he don't like !!!
But I didn't posted to facebook lor :P
Just foursquare twitter and blogger XD

Then we chat a lot there @@
Sit for almost 2 hours something :)

Then before go SHOGUN I force baby take some pics :P
Long time only can take once -.-
*slap him*

 smoke smoke smoke ........
 heee :D
 I love this the most la ;)
Don't know he laugh at what ? @@


Then after that we go for SHOGUN have buffet d then back d . Didn't take pics there.
Busy eating chatting and I so tired T.T
Leg is pain for the new shoes!
>.<

Its just a very normal date , but I am satisfied with it.
I didn't have EVERYTHING , but I have ENOUGH. ;)
And I finally get result today , 13.10.2011 .
I feel totally RELEASE.
I think too much before this and give myself too many pressure on it.
Sigh , now finally I can relax and start to concentrate back on my job! 
I need to treasure all the chances while I have ,the chances that can learn all the things.
Have no more time to waste d laa , not really young d.
hmmm.
Need to hardworking than before.
Not only for job but myself too :P
Need self improve !!!! yeassssssss sure I can.
Building up my confidence .

Here is all the crap that I wanna share. hahahhaha !
It's time to sleep , wish I have a good sleep tonight!
PLEASE SON'T FUCKING INSOMNIA AGAIN :O

Eyes feel pain! sleep now.
nightssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss <3


ILOVEYOU baby ;*
Thanks for be with me all the time.
Now , later , forever.

IRREPLACEABLE. okkay ? ;))))
Muacxxxxxx goodnite !

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Simple ! :)

Is 3am now okkay :/ is so late edi and I am still mask-ing LOL and just back from Neway Centro just now.
I felt satisfied with it although I'm not in good condition today . I feel very tired and hard breath maybe cause today do Herbs Navel's treatment and didn't drink alots water after it :/
Then also go for sing k with the buddies as we promise after dinner with baby.
Very weird , I just sing for 3 hrs then I feel left , feel back home and rest . :O I was keep on nagging I WANTS TO SING K ALWAYS but when I got chance and I just not really enjoy? Hahhahaa , cause sore throat d lo. :(
Plus cannot maintain always when at outside with buddies ciggarette must have and besides me then non-stop smoking :/
I think alot again today , I feel down just now , but after I put all my attention to work and I realize after the 5 hrs treatment (practice) I feel so good . I didnt emo again and I feel gooooood . Seriously :P
I know I stupid emo always like habit and can't even CHANGE. Ishh, try so hard to be positive!
sumore tweet alot just now :/
heehehehhe , as usual la :P
Baby promise me last weem he said that he will bring me to have sushi buffet when we off day again ! Yay! Its today! Wednesday ^^ ahhaahhha I like siao d so excited bout eat .
Not really actually but yet we so long never date like that d luu. Ofcourse I am excited :)
I want everything goessss smooth later! (Since now already 3 somthing midnight LMAO )
Got 9 hrs to sleep ;))))
Is time to sleep d yeayea I hope can keep this mood everyday . I wish :)
REMOVED MASK THEN GO SLEEP !
goodnightxxxxxx :*


I love baby he is so cute hahha!
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Sunday, October 9, 2011

Tired!

Just finish designed my blog. 
I feel so tired is almost 1 hour I face the laptop never turn my attention to others!! :O
And also cause of I wake so early for work today I feel damn it tired now huh.
I feel okkay just now but i sit here also 1 hour d loo baby still busying .
zz... 
* I was waiting baby at his shop after I finish work just now :/ . *

Actually I'm not a best writter or what but I just like to write a lot things here :/
 I ain't perfect. 
I don't have very fair skin.
I don't have very good and nice skin.
I don't have sweet smile too.
I look cool , with silence and fierce face .
So many of you dislike me at the first sight :O
Plus I hardly can maintain ownselve , 
the thing I feels right , and its truth I will spread here and there when I am fucking pissed on it,
actually I'd change a lot before I get into couple again.
I guess I can accepted all about my lover , passed now and future.
guess what , I seriously can.
But sometimes its shouldn't to do like that. Everyone different minded different side viewed, so you cant force others must be same thinking as yours.
So sometimes you think thats it , its doesn't always meant to be 
I always cannot understand WHY ? WHY WILL LIKE THIS ?
WHY WILL LIKE THAT ??
LOL.
'You should know not everyone can accepted your attitude , they not must agreed on what you did , talk , WRITE '
So now I understand then until now only I stop do stupid stuff lo.
Haihs , I so easy to trust anyone else that's my weakness and all of my bf always worried.
I thought baby was different but still the same -.-
He taught me be smart , don't easy to trust someone else.
I was like.. o.o
I'm so easy to get influence by others , if you good , I will be good.
If you re bad , then I will GONE BAD too.
SHIT.
That's why I always sad for something I shouldn't!
Passed then mean passed! 
Some of them should not walk in your life but they did it and GOD push them away from you is because HE know they NOT your friend.
You asking them to do what you want?
That is not asking but BEGGING.
'Stella Lee , How many months you been give up yourself , let yourself to be more lazy , more emotional , can't even be positive like when you re single ? :) "


Since July .
After July I become damn damn damn emotional moody always because of little little stuff.
yerr. I hate but I always like that .


I realize I was fucking care it. 
So I jump into a deep hole again and again.
LOL.
Now my one and half leg is out of the hole already and my half leg still inside and I am trying to PULL it out as soon as possible and is almost success.

So now since its almost be done , so , try to keep confident and push away nonsense , pressure from others you don't want to bear.
Woots , is so long I type this posted.

Don't just remember others bad and ignore their good always.
Even my haters also got their good.
Seriously.

Haters is the one who wish to become you in one day.

I don't care d laa cause you never can be ME.

I will find a way to let myself getting better and I hope you so.
Let's be stranger is better than be enemy.
As what I told you I don't hope we will become enemy.

Is okkay if you don't trust.
Up to you what you going to think. :)




This is me.
Sorry for any of my words are hurt.
:(
That what I want to tell ma :(



Stay happie.
要永远都保持那个笑容。:)
its sweet. :) 
;)



I am too free and then I edited one picture of me and baby muahahahha xD
here is it :P



Friday, October 7, 2011

簡單就好 :)

看起來憔悴很多,因為上個月生活作息不太正常。本來今晚打算早睡,但baby突然說要喝茶。
兩個傻佬半夜不睡跑到setia alam mcd 喝茶。
夠力無聊 ;P
最近不太舒服,時常頭暈。
皮膚一直沒得好好休息 :(
頭腦也沒有保持冷靜過。
真需要好好愛自己一番了
不會發生的事,別想了。
自己明白自己沒錯就好。
歉已道,看那人是否能接受而已。
還是那句,開心就好。
;)
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Thursday, October 6, 2011

stop.

I know I should mind others feels. I maintain myself . :)
Sorrie , thanks :)



i kinda care :)
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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Appreciate.

I do appreciated what I having right now , cause no one will know what's going on next moment.
Im always here for anyone that around me and some of the people that I got no chances to friend at all.
But I trust it one day everything will change when you try to put down HATE and PREJUDICE.
LOL.
Night people !
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Monday, October 3, 2011

unhappie

I admit that I unhappie for these days because of FRIENDSHIP.
And maybe its seriously I think too much over it.
Actually that isn't a big deal , don't ever keep in heart .
Sometimes I just want to be alone , recall everything that I did , every words that I talked. If I am wrong , I will apologize after it.
I wants to be strong , so I choose to keep all the nonsense in my heart.
I shared , but is only share on blog or twitter.
I will not purposely find a friend and chat about what I am unhappie if they can't even help , if they know nothing about the matter.
I will admit how weak am I still , and I always told myself to be strong , independent and confident :)
Things won't always goes BAD and not always GOOD. Friends got many type , many kind of personality .
I admire the friend that who has a true friend that understand them very well eventhough they never tell.
I got this before , but I'd lost.
But is okkay, I keep all the memories in the bottom of my heart.
But now I can be alone too .
I can shop alone , tea alone , eat alone , go anywhere also can enjoy myself. (When my baby are busy :P )

I won't denied that I am weak , I admit it. I don't mind let anyone know my sadness , because everyone have their mood and thinking .
You can laugh me , because you hate me , is okkay , i can't control.
I don't mind anymore . Right?
No enemy forever, I underStand it very well.
I accept everything happened on me, and I will be tough and independent to face all the trouble.
Be Optimistic , Independent , Tough , Strong , CONFIDENT is all I need .
If you come and try to know me , you will understand me . But not from my outlook. :)
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